I Have Skeleton in My Closet

So here I am, laying on my bed, watching moon hanging in the dark from the window. Crying, while my mind playing the saddest song on earth : the sound of my heart breaking. Tears run down to my cheek, as the clock slowly ticking, breaking the silence, burst out in the air. The only image that I could picture in my mind is you, with your lips curving smile. The only reason I smile. The only thing that I want to see everyday, forever. It's hard to know that I'm not the reason that smile appear. I take a deep breath, telling myself everything's gonna be alright. Tomorrow would be a new day, and I shouldn't worry about what will happen. Maybe once in a lifetime, destiny would be on my side. I hope so. Written in bed, after having a very bad day that makes me cry a way back home..

I didn't see you coming. Never. You are the least expected people to fall in love with. But you slip thru the window of my room, come into my dreams as a lullaby. Transform into positive vibes whispered in my ears. I look back and wonder why I never expect you? I look back and I know there's no turning back. I'm in love. With you, someone that I never imagine before. Someone that I didn't see coming.

In virtually any context, someone you meet and share a significant encounter with who holds qualities akin to "the one" but for circumstance sake you are separated from; always after the fact. - Urban Dictionary I really not in the mood to do anything today. I blame the hormones for the unwanted mood. But actually it was always you. Kadang gue bertanya-tanya, dalam hati, dalam doa, dalam keramaian, dalam perbincangan, sampai kapan ini berlanjut? Kapan ini selesai? Setiap gue bilang  sudahlah, sudahi , setelahnya, malah berlanjut.  Sampai kapan? Sampai tidak tahu kapan. Sudah berapa lama ini? 10 tahun? Hampir? Lebih? Masih begini saja?  Kadang gue suka mikir, mungkin semua hubungan yang gue jalani tidak pernah berhasil karena gue tidak pernah bisa benar-benar keluar dari apa yang pernah terjadi bertahun-tahun yang lalu. Tapi di sisi lain, gue juga berpikir bahwa hubungan yang gagal memicu gue tidak bisa keluar dari memori bertahun yang lalu. Kemudian h...

I divided relationship into several stages. Every relationship, include what we have now. And, for our case, this is the stages: First , it's an  awkward  stage. We started this stages in December, went out as a collagues, for the sake of works. We have tried every single coffee shops in entire city just to find the most comfortable and cheap one.  Second , the  comfort zone  stage. We started to saw each other often. Texted each other often. Called each other often. Went to the movies together, Ate lunch together. I spent 12 hours with you, and the other texted or called you.  Third , the  romantic  stage. I burst into laughter everytime I rembembered this. We barely kept our hands to ourselves. How you rest your head in my back, or how you hug me in the elevator before leave, or how you kissed my shoulder in the taxi. How we sat side by side and arm in arm in our last flight. How you caressed my cheek and my palm. How I hugged y...

First time I didn't notice you . All my love stories start with that sentence. Most of them have a sad to super sad ending. I like someone I barely notice when we first met, deeply falling for them, turns out they never have a feeling like I did. I trapped in unrequited love situation, ended up broken hearted. With you, the story have a little bit...an unusual path. You , seems interested to me. I told everyone you will never have a chance, because, simply I thought that you're not my type, so, in the  first time, I didn't notice you . Time passed by. You try to convince me. And you did. After 10 months of constant works, we started to growing closer. You like me, I know you do. But, as we take step into the next level, it seems like the love we have didn't own a stable root. We start to fight over small things. Everytime you're in a bad mood, I start questioning why and we ended up ruining our day. "No, it's not you." You said last nig...

Dalam  series  Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Charles Boyle diceritakan sebagai cowok baik hati yang setia kawan dan setia pada pasangannya. Kalau dia naksir cewek, dia pasti akan  all out,  atau disebut sebagai  Full Boyle . Menurut definisi dari Urban Dictionary, kira-kira Full Boyle itu seperti ini: full boyle   Going  full out  on a girl that you really like,  so much  that you  scare  her away Dude, I just went  full Boyle  on this girl and now she thinks  I'm a   weirdo S eperti halnya Boyle, saya juga sering melakukan hal yang sama. Nggak bisa ngerem, sampai akhirnya blong. Sebenernya saya emang tipe orang yang suka menunjukkan kasih sayang. Tapi mungkin, buat beberapa orang, apalagi yang belum resmi jadi siapa-siapa, hal tersebut agak menakutkan, juga, membosankan. Akhir-akhir ini, setelah mengalami kisah cinta yang kandas secara tragis, saya mencoba untuk memnbenahi diri, dan mulai masuk ke tahap...

Setelah mengalami ke-patahhati-an yang cukup parah, saya berpikir untuk membenahi diri.  Dimulai dari mencari kegiatan-kegiatan baru. Menyibukkan diri dengan kerjaan. Nonton series. Baca buku. Jalan-jalan ke tempat baru. Semua terasa menyenangkan, sampai tiba saatnya ada orang baru yang mencoba masuk. Sebenernya ini bukan orang baru. Orang lama. Sebenernya, dia udah mencoba masuk dari dulu, mungkin sudah hampir setahun. Tapi selalu gagal. Banyak cara dicoba. Mulai dari yang nggak keliatan sampai yang mencolok banget.  Dulu, saya selalu dengan santainya bilang "yakali." Sekarang, jadi "ya, kali..." Waktu cuma kenal-kenal ayam, saya males banget ngeladeninnya. Anaknya suka tempel sana-sini. Semua orang dia modusin. Anaknya ya emang supel aja sih. Tapi supel sama genit bedanya kayak jembatan sirotol mustakim. Tipis bener. Nah, begitulah posisi anak ini. Tapi, semakin hari saya kenal dia, semakin saya paham jalan pikirannya, semakin saya tahu ...

I remember it, it was a night just like this One of those moments that just slip But you just feel it from your heart to your fingertips Malam itu, kamu beda dari biasanya.  Kamu iseng, masih seperti biasa. Jelalatan, masih seperti biasa. Genit, masih seperti biasa. Kamu perhatian, lebih dari biasanya. Kamu manja, lebih dari biasanya. Tapi, kamu seperti sering melamun. Sering berpikir, seakan-akan ada sesuatu yang mengganjal kehidupanmu. Malam itu, kita duduk di bawah sinar lampu yang diredupkan. Nyaris tidak terlihat apapun. Kamu, mengelus pipiku, yang biasanya penuh dengan rasa gemas, saat itu, penuh rasa sayang. Tidak seperti biasanya. "Tidur, kamu." Begitu katamu. Aku cuma tertawa kecil sembari memejamkan mata. Satu. Dua. Tiga. Lalu tanganmu menggenggam tanganku, dengan jemari yang mengusap penuh kehati-hatian. Saat kulihat, kamu memejamkan mata sambil tersenyum. Mungkin, kita harus bicara, agar tidak ada kesalahpahaman dan kesala...