Stages

I divided relationship into several stages. Every relationship, include what we have now.

And, for our case, this is the stages:

First, it's an awkward stage. We started this stages in December, went out as a collagues, for the sake of works. We have tried every single coffee shops in entire city just to find the most comfortable and cheap one. 

Second, the comfort zone stage. We started to saw each other often. Texted each other often. Called each other often. Went to the movies together, Ate lunch together. I spent 12 hours with you, and the other texted or called you. 

Third, the romantic stage. I burst into laughter everytime I rembembered this. We barely kept our hands to ourselves. How you rest your head in my back, or how you hug me in the elevator before leave, or how you kissed my shoulder in the taxi. How we sat side by side and arm in arm in our last flight. How you caressed my cheek and my palm. How I hugged you from behind in motorcycle, everytime you drove me home.

Fourth, the regular stage. Our everyday schedule always, I repeat, always, including each other plan. It's become a habit. We fought over a small things and show emotions to one another. We're not afraid to be the silly-annoying-hot headed-loving-fragile version in front each other. 

We're now reaching the fourth stage, but, sometimes you keep doing something from previous stage. One day you asked me about work, only work for the entire day, but the other day you texted me or called me just to know how my day was. Last night, you brushed my hands carefully when we ordered buble tea. 

You do it after a couple week of silent treatment and cynical face, probably because we don't have enough time to go out together, just the two of us, and talk heart to heart about the problem we faced, like we used to. 

Finally, last night we made it. And I'm glad you told me and show me you're doing okay. 

To be honest, no one ever last more than 2 months, having a romantic relationship with me. Maybe, because I'm too selfish. Too demanding. Too clingy and sticking around like a chewing gum. Too emotional. Too drama queen.

But you survive it, in every stage. Every drama. Every emotion. Every insecurities. You listen to me, and not judge me. You make me grow more stable. Happier. Love myself.

I love you, and I love all the hard works you put in every stages of this relationship. 

And like what I said before we step into second stage, I know, maybe this relationship wouldn't last a lifetime, because of the awkward circumstances that we had. Maybe we will just ended up being a collagues, and I consider it as a fifth stage : the goodbye stage. But one thing for sure, I know I was loved, and that love you gave, made me a better person. 

Thank you. 

Thank you.